Mattress ditty (sung to a tune that fits snuggly)

We have a new matteress in our house

It’s six feet long, and widee

No hope of us ever amoving it cuz

It’s made of lead insidee

Delivery men in a terrible rush

Have dumped it in the doorway

We cunna get past and it dussena push

We’ll have to sleep in the hallway!