Between the mirror,
where the dark leaves its coat,
shelter from your rain.
Sun brushed butterfly
cloaked by my chrysanthemum
whispers with the breeze.
Stars, shaped like kisses,
peek between cardigan clouds
to glimpse their ocean.
Who stole the daisies
from beyond cow shed corner?
Your secret is safe.
Love the non-specificity of this. The “un-pin-down-ability.” It plays beautifully on the cusp of meaning. What my friend Jeremy Nathan Marks would call “boundary work.”
Nice work.
Are you familiar with haiku sonnets? You’ve very nearly fit the form here.
http://aprayerlikegravity.wordpress.com/forms/haiku-sonnet/
…if you are curious.
David Marshal invented the form. I’ve written a few. I have a couple in the works right now, as it happens. I have found it to be a form that fits many of my thoughts very well.
Take care–
jcc
Thank you Jcc – I like places in between, always did. I will seek out and read …
I love your free flowing un pin down ability as JCC put it. I love that you just go with it and it really works. Cardigan clouds..love the image.
Apparently. I can’t say anything but love right now. Loss for words I guess
I love that you love – never too much love – thank you.
Wow Julia you have created a wonderful ‘full circle’ haiku series here. Really a beauty. Thank you for visiting my weblog … feel free to visit again … be welcome. I am your host at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai.
Welcome, and thank you. I will certainly be back to sit a while with you.
Love to see you again at Carpe Diem
A delightful series. Each one is as soft as a birds feather floating and too as strong as the feathers that remain.
Really like the ‘cardigan clouds’ – they are sort of sweaters or jumpers for the sky.
Thank you, Jules. I am a lover of cardigans – they are safe and warm.
yes your images are so vivid and captivating. I really like the unpinned down effect
Thank you, moondustwriter. Unpinned, yes – we can not be held for long.
They each has a nice twist. Really appreciate the last one’s construction.
Welcome, Janicead, and thank you.
such a completely different angle for this prompt — I really enjoyed this series. The cardigan clouds are especially wonderful – and pulling it all together with a theme of “hiding places” is a wonderful touch —
Thank you, Bioli, it was a pleasure to write, and wrapped my hidden feelings in something warm.
Stars shaped like kisses… Iove that..
Interesting romantic take with this full circle … love!
Thank you, Bastet. It was fun to write.
🙂 as it always should be … bravo!